December 5, 2016
Amir Shehata
If you have worked on an independent work of art before, you know that support is hard to come by. Starting from 2004, I have made twelve short films, 1 feature and 3 long episodes; that’s beside Turning Point. During this period of time, I have learnt that as a project lead, you need to have the goal clear. You have to keep on going no matter how many setbacks you encounter. And trust me there will be many. It’s important to take up the mantra: “Never give up. Never surrender” (from the movie Galaxy Quest).
The difficulties and obstacles don’t happen only during making the movie. In my opinion, these are the simpler type of problems. I’m not calling them insignificant, but they should be expected. Nothing is without challenges. The problems which impacted my moral quite a bit, happened after I put a ton of work into a project. You find that either very few people take the time to watch it or even worse, people simply criticize it having not even seen it. Part of the reason for lack of viewership is poor marketing. This is a topic unto itself. But if you're anything like me, once you're done something you want to show it to your family and friends and sometimes these are the people that put you down, albeit unintentionally.
I usually find myself thinking, “why do I bother? Movies are made to be watched, yet hardly anyone watches what I make. Why do I keep inflicting pain upon myself”. I think this stream of thought is common with anyone pursuing their passion. We have two options at this point, either give up or keep on going. One is easier than the other. I’ll leave it up to you to guess which one.
I think what makes it tougher on us, is when we seek outside approval to measure our own self worth, talent, ability, etc. As a relative newbie filmmaker, if I seek approval from others as a measure of how well I’m doing, I’ll most often find that there is no merit in my work. But in my opinion, that’s the wrong way to go about it. Measure your ability by how much you've progressed. Look at your previous work and look at your current work and compare, you’ll almost always find that you got better, at writing, at editing, at directing, whatever…
But if you look to others' opinions as a key factor in measuring your self-worth, or progress, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Everyone has their own agenda, and their own opinions, biases, thoughts, even if they deny it, and claim objectivity, almost always that’s not true. We’re human beings. We are by definition subjective beings. When I watch a movie, I get an emotional response, and either like it and have good things to say or not.
Of course there are people who can be more objective than others. These types of people are invaluable, because they are able to look at the “artistic or technical” aspect of what you wanted to achieve and tell you ways of making it better.
Watch out for the people who vehemently believe they are objective but they really are not. They are only deceiving themselves and will hurt you… Just FYI!
I guess, I should pause here, and clarify a point. By no means, am I saying that we shouldn’t listen to what other people have to say about our work. That would simply be idiotic. Quiet the opposite we should listen attentively to all opinions; the ones we like and the ones we don’t, and try to make as much use of all feedback given to us, whether negative or positive feedback. Because there is always something to be learned. However, we should draw a line between learning from opinions and letting people’s feedback shape how we measure our achievements. Because believe it or not, if you have made a movie, you have done more than 99% of the people who are giving you feedback. They just talk. You have actually gone out there and done something about it. Give yourself some credit.
One thing I found helpful for me, is to sit back and ask myself, why am I doing this? I firmly believe that a true and honest answer to that question will give me the push to continue on. What I’m going to say is my own personal opinion, and by no means is meant to judge others' motivation. I found that if my motivation is based on an external reward like money, fame, appreciation, then I’m going to be a sorry individual. Let’s face it, this is a tough business and not everyone makes it big. So the likelihood I’ll be a famous filmmaker (famous as in how our society defines fame) is quite low. That’s why I arrived to a conclusion that my inner motivation for making movies (or anything really) should stem from my core faith. Everything I do should be aimed at strengthening that faith in me and in others.
Faith, however, seems to be a dangerous word these days, because people tend to associate a negative connotation to it. We have become, I find, indoctrinated in thinking that faith is illogical. You must believe in only facts. And if you have faith, that makes you a dangerous and volatile individual. But really without faith, without hope, we are not human. Indeed, we can not achieve anything without faith. The people that looked up at the sky and said let’s fly, had faith that one day they would be able to fly. Then they worked hard and achieved what they set out to do.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. We have to have faith in what we’re about to set out to do, even if there is nothing tangible to believe in. It essentially becomes evidence of the things that have not yet come to be. This is just common sense. I have an idea for a new movie, if I don’t have faith that when I work hard I’ll make that movie, then I will not work hard and the movie will not be made. You see, my faith in the idea has become evidence in the merit of the idea before the idea has materialized into its actual full form.
The more “dangerous” side of faith, which is constantly under attack, is when you have faith in something greater than yourself, something eternal, namely God. Now I do not intend to get into a theological argument about the existence of God. There are others better than I am who have written extensively on the subject. My point here is that faith in myself is inadequate to continue trudging along against the stream, against the obstacles in my life. If everything I do is for my own personal gain, then when I die, and that’s sure going to happen, all I have done is gone as well. I’m not going to benefit from anything beyond my death. And that to me is a problem. Death makes life meaningless; whether you’re rich or poor, successful or a failure, all die. Especially, if I struggle for so long, and not achieve success as defined by our society. That would even be worse, because I struggled and never saw any results in my lifetime. I don’t know, but this seems pretty dismal to me.
However, when we work God into the equation, things don’t seem so meaningless anymore. If what I do is to glorify God, who is eternal, then that work no matter how insignificant it might appear, carries eternal weight.
Now the fear with this line of thought is that if you have blind faith, then you’re a dangerous individual, and we see plenty of examples of “blind” faith in our day and age. But I’m not talking about blind faith here. In fact, I don’t believe in it. I believe that faith should lead us to increase in all good and moral perfection, which we agree on as a human species. If it’s good to help others in need, then faith in God should motivate us to help more. If it’s good to share in other’s sorrows and happiness, then faith in God should push us to be even more empathetic. If it’s good to be just to all men and women with no consideration of their race, religion or political association, then faith in God should drive us to ensure that. Faith in God should motivate us to grow in every good virtue. This has to be true, since God in the theology I follow, is the source of all these virtues.
Whew, kinda felt like I went a bit off topic, but it does directly relate to what I was saying earlier. I needed to find a constant motivation that will keep me going in my filmmaking passion. Something which is not solely based in myself, but in something greater than me. Something that creates in me a purpose to strive towards. But like I said, that’s just me.