To varying degrees I suppose we all must be ready to testify to the truth since we all live in the world and we are asked to be the light thereof. And the Lord's Jesus' Prayer to the Father is that we are not to be taken out of this world, but to be protected from evil.

John 17 15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

It follows then that our mission if we are to be residents of this world temporarily, that we ought to behave as true citizens of our eternal country, our heavenly country. And it follows from our Lord's will that all be saved, that we must cooperate with our Lord in this matter and to be ready to do our part (small as it is) of bringing people to the Lord.

First off, this article is not intended to be a theological discourse. I'm not trying to argue any particular Christian denomination. In fact I'm following what I call the "C.S. Lewis Approach" as I explain in the end of the article. Secondly, the points highlighted in this article are not intended to apply in general, but rather are specific to the approach taken when talking to non-Christians. Finally, these are a collection of conclusions from my limited experience, and I'm sure there are other better men than I am who have written extensively on this subject, but I suppose God has given every man a unique set of talents and experiences that can benefit, even in a small way, the rest of the body of Christ.

I was thinking what would be the most effective way to convince someone that God exists. We can get into arguments about proof of God's existence and try to force our belief on others, but that's not really effective. Most likely the effect of that is at best to alienate the other and at worst to harden his heart against future opportunities to know God.

It seems to be the best chance we have to bring someone to Christ is to form a true friendship with them. A friendship that does not have ulterior motives, but only for the sake of friendship itself.

We should concentrate on getting to know them at a personal level. Establish a friendship, because that's when they will truly be open to listen:

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. (proverbs 27:17)

We shouldn't shy away from expressing our faith to others, but all in wisdom and not in vain glory, since the earlier builds and the latter tears down.

The first order of things then is that we be open to forming friendships with others and not to pre-judge them on the count of their lack of faith.

The second thing, is to stay away from putting ourselves on a pedestal, thinking that we are in some way better than they:

James 3:1-2 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

The third point, is that we ought to be very careful of what we say and only use as little words as possible in our discourse. We shouldn't feel obliged to talk too much thinking that we are some how preaching, and refer to St. Paul and how he used to stay long in preaching. This might have its place, but not in this particular case I'm talking about. I'm talking specifically about dealing with people who do not believe in the Christian faith.

The more we talk the greater a chance we could mess up. The power to change people is in God's words, and not in many words.

James 3:3-6
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

Hebrews 4:12
12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

The fourth point is to make sure that we do not appear as hypocrites, talking the talk but not walking the walk.

I believe this issue can be dealt with on two fronts.
1) by actually putting in an effort in behaving like true Christians
2) not to setup an image that we can not really live up to.
It is a risky thing to setup an image for ourselves that we are perfect Christians, when we are not. Our goal is to show God's perfection and that we are just servants struggling along with them. So it is okay to admit our weaknesses and that we are imperfect and trying to become better.

Let's look at Acts 10:26
But Peter took him up, saying, Stand up; I myself also am a man.
--> This is the story of Cornelius. I believe St. Peter here is putting himself on equal footing with Cornelius. And when Cornelius and his family received the Holy Spirit, St. Peter was glad of it and saw that God has put no difference between him and them.

Revelations 19:10
10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

Revelations 22:9
9 Then saith he unto me, See thou do it not: for I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren the prophets, and of them which keep the sayings of this book: worship God.

So I think it is most effective to deal in true humility with people, praising rather than criticizing them, as Our Lord did with the Samaritan woman, the Roman Centurion and almost to anyone whom he dealt with. In fact the only people he had harsh words for where the Pharisees and the Publicans. Matthew 23 is a collection of what the Lord Jesus had to say to them, because they have put themselves at a high pedestal. Even though what they were saying was correct, yet they were not setting a good example.

Let's look at the following verses of how much God sees the importance of the honesty of the pastors that serve his flock:

Jeremiah 23:1-4
Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the Lord. 2 Therefore thus saith the Lord God of Israel against the pastors that feed my people; Ye have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them: behold, I will visit upon you the evil of your doings, saith the Lord. 3 And I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all countries whether I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase. 4 And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the Lord. (Jeremiah 23:1-4)

Ezekiel 34.

A fifth point, is to really listen to them. Unfortunately, we tend to be good at talking at people and not with people. We should think of our dealings with people as establishing a Dialogue. A dialogue implies that I listen to the other in attentiveness and try to understand where they are coming from. They should have my full attention, rather than half an attention. It is very transparent when we spend time with someone who desires only to be listened to. This displays lack of interest toward the other, and it automatically turns off a person from listening to me.

This attitude has the following consequences:
1. They will feel that they don't matter much to you. And feeling that we matter is the first step to accepting what the other has to say.
2. You won't be able to target their points of concern. You could have much good to say, but it's not what the other wants to hear.

A sixth point, is that God is the one that sends people your way. You don't seek them out. At least in my experience, I found that forcing myself on people doesn't help. In other words, wait for an opportunity to open a dialogue with your friend, rather than force the dialogue in a specific direction.

Seventh point, don't look for an immediate result. Have a vested interest in fostering a friendship, but don't base your friendship on whether the person believes or not. The increase comes from the Lord.

Always point to others better than you. I find C.S. Lewis a great resource to refer people to. Of course pick the source you point to with wisdom. Use sources that take into account the personal interest of your friend. This comes back to the point of putting in an effort to understand your friend and his way of thinking.

Fight pride. It is an often thought that "I made things happen", but we ought to say with St. Peter:

Acts 3:12
12 And when Peter saw it, he answered unto the people, Ye men of Israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk?

Give the credit to God in the success of the service. As an added point to remind us of our insignificant role remember no matter what we do, we haven't performed any miracles. St. Peter and St. Paul raised the dead, healed the sick, what are we to them? So we ought even be more humble, and not think of our service as great.

At the end of the day the sole purpose of the friendship is for it to be for God's glory, in such a way that it doesn't turn off people.

What can we do then? I think we have to foster an attitude of acceptance toward each other. As I observed with the youth I deal with is that we do not have a very good acceptance level. Even within the same group, we have cliques. Some people like each other, but don't like others, we tend to speak behind each other's back, etc, etc.

If we have this attitude internally, how can we have a different attitude externally? How can we expect to bring people new to the faith into this disputation?

Romans 14:1-8
Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations. 2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. 3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him. 4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand. 5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. 6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks. 7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. 8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.

A final point is that we must stay away from talking about points of disputes between the different denominations of Christianity. The point is not to show people how Orthodoxy is so much better than protestants, or how we are superior to Catholics, etc, because that will just lead to arguments and not resolutions. The point is to show them the beauty of Christ.

To me the "C.S Lewis Approach" is the best approach:

An excerpt from "Mere Christianity:

I hope no reader will suppose that "mere" Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions-as if a man could adopt it in preference to Congregationalism or Greek Orthodoxy or anything else. It is more like a hall out of which doors open into several rooms. If I can bring anyone into that hall I shall have done what I attempted. But it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals. The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in. For that purpose the worst of the rooms (whichever that may be) is, I think, preferable.

It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at. I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. When you do get into your room you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise. But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping.

You must keep on praying for light: and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house. And above all you must be asking which door is the true one; not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling. In plain language, the question should never be: "Do I like that kind of service?" but "Are these doctrines true: Is holiness here? Does my conscience move me towards this? Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?"

When you have reached your own room, be kind to those Who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house.